Thursday, July 8, 2010

55 Fiction: Companions

Blog Marathon Post 8

“You are treading muddy waters”, they tried to warn her. She didn’t listen. She carried on with her stride, oblivious to her surroundings. No matter how neglected, they remained with her, through highs and lows. After an hour long run, she placed them carefully in the shoe rack. They waited dutifully till the next dawn.

Labels: , ,

15 Comments:

At July 8, 2010 at 5:31 AM , Anonymous Hitha.. said...

cute , short,brilliant..& i love it :)

 
At July 8, 2010 at 6:01 AM , Anonymous PB :) said...

ditto! :)

one small observation, dono how valid it is - "no matter how neglected" and "she placed them carefully in the shoe rack" dont seem to fit in together ... may be it wud have been better if it was "she threw then on to the shoe rack" or something like that, as it wud have better conveyed that the companions may be really neglected but are still loyal to her ...

btw Dewdrop, I am really amazed at your creative side ... dont think ur dream of being a famous author is that distant a reality ... keep writing :)

 
At July 8, 2010 at 10:12 AM , Anonymous RM said...

Hmm things are getting complicated here, i should say the best part is the thought more than any thing else.

 
At July 8, 2010 at 10:54 AM , Anonymous Swati said...

Nice one :-)

 
At July 8, 2010 at 9:15 PM , Blogger Soorya said...

:-) Keep going on!!

 
At July 8, 2010 at 9:19 PM , Blogger Madhu said...

I like your 55 fiction stories. Very creative!

Waiting for more 55 fiction stories.

@PB - Guys may throw their shoes, but girls never neglect their shoes! A big lesson to learn! Since the human character in the story is a lady, I would say the author has portrayed a realistic scene. Probably from own experience.

The famous malayalam writer 'Muhammad Basheer' has commented - "The characters in a story live inside the readers only if its written from the author's own experience and feelings".

 
At July 8, 2010 at 10:18 PM , Anonymous PB :) said...

@Madhu - may be u r right :) ... I was just making an observation as "no matter how neglected" was also a line in the story ... I understand it is completely the author's privilege to decide what/how to write :)

 
At July 8, 2010 at 11:53 PM , Blogger Pratibha said...

I liked it! I feel you are giving more n more with less n less with every 55 fiction piece!
Going by the comments you are already being read by many, my dear! ;)

 
At July 9, 2010 at 12:18 AM , Blogger Kishley said...

:D wow!! super piece. I tried to write one 55 word thingie yesterday.. nothing would come out of my mind!!!

 
At July 9, 2010 at 1:40 AM , Blogger Dewdrop said...

@Hitha: Thanks dear :) Btw, why no new posts on your blog? I know you are very busy with your studies, but type out something in when you are free.

@RM: :( Sorry if this piece confused you. Keep the comments coming, it helps me to improve my writing.

@Swati: Thanks sweetie :)

@Soorya: Thanks dear. Love the appreciation.

@PB: I am amazed by your attention to detail and thankful for the suggestion. I feel you are right, maybe that would have brought a different perspective to the whole story. But as Madhu pointed out, I never neglect my shoes, esp. my running shoes :). Maybe thats the reason why I wrote it that way. But again, I am so happy that you gave me a different perspective. Keep you suggestions coming. They improve my writing.

@Madhu: You correctly identified why I wrote it that way. I was thinking why I didn't thought of what PB said and bang came your comment. I was happy to find a reason. The quote by Basheer is amazing, apt for my experience and writing. Thanks a ton.

@Pratibha: Thanks dear. But you know, when the appreciation comes from a good writer like you, it makes my day :)

@Kishley: Keep on it kishley. Somewhere inside your mind, there is a 55 fiction story that is waiting to blossom. I am sure that when you finally write it, it will be as amazing as the beautiful cards that you make. Love them kishley, its a beauty just seeing them on screen. So I can imagine how the people who are receiving those cards must be feeling :)

 
At July 9, 2010 at 4:21 AM , Blogger Kishley said...

:) Thats soooo sweet of you..

I used to write short pieces when i was in college.. That would b about 3.5 years back.. Now i think i have lost my way with words.. or maybe i need to work on it to get it back..

I'm going to attempt one tonight :D

 
At July 11, 2010 at 2:53 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Awesome shift of thought with a natural bent:)

Is author moving from "desire"(continuing to tread muddy waters) to "waking from dream" (coming back and placing them back on rack) of lady in concern.

Sounds like sleeping with desire and dreaming about it and then realizing its dream :)

 
At July 12, 2010 at 5:58 AM , Blogger Dewdrop said...

@Kishley: All the best :) Did you write it finally? Do let us know.

@anon: Thats one way of looking at it. For me, the subject of the story is 'shoes' rather than 'She'. Its their loyalty that I have tried to establish with this post.

 
At July 13, 2010 at 11:47 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

@Dew thanks for clarification

 
At July 24, 2010 at 12:44 PM , Blogger Dewdrop said...

@anon: You are always welcome :)

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This page has moved to a new address.

< $BlogItemTitle$>

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------